Wow, Something Happened!

Well, something happened this year. In spite of unusual tension surrounding the holidays, Thanksgiving went very well. There was the missing orange juice for the sauce over the sweet potatoes and the travel arrangments for the the family overflow this year. When it comes right down to it, those things were minor in comparison to the things I have to be thankful for.

My Thanksgiving begins on Thursday morning with church and then breakfast at HBC. I stayed with Megan Wednesday night so that she wouldn't have to come out to pick me up and so that I didn't have to go in with the alternative ride, the "Eggman" (Steve Brown) had to be there at 6am. I'm still not a morning person!

Part of the church service is the naming of things we are thankful for. The things I am thankful are not so tangible this year. Some of them are:

1. My children: Lori is doing better- While she had a bad relationship earlier this year. She got herself out of it and is now talking to someone that we think we like. Josh has grown alot this year- He had to move out of the house with Elizabeth, but that wasn't all bad. He has finally found an apartment. He has a lot to learn, but he seems to be doing okay.

The best part of this is that I have finally been able to get both my kids to depend on me less!

2. Me: I have done a lot of work on me this year. I went on vacation, by myself for the first time in about 20 years and I got to go on a choir tour with a group of students studying in Morocco. How blessed I am!

3. My Friends: I am learning to trust people and myself a little more. I have prayed that God give me direction for my life. I have been unemployed for almost two years. Learning that some of the things I attributed to others, was in my mind, helped me to understand some of the ways I could work on myself. That helps me to have a clearer understanding of the direction my life is taking.

I'm going to stop here for now. Iam going to try to post more often, but we will see what happens!

Okay, So I skipped yesterday!

Yes, I skipped writing yesterday, but then Sunday's are always busy. Yesterday was proof that my children still have issues, but different ones. It took forever to get things organised, yesterday. Church was very good, Lilli rang handbells for the first time in worship. They really did a good job! I continue to be impressed by the music program at Highland! Thanks to Rick, Libby, Mac and Marilyn for all the work you do with our children.

After church, there was planning for lunch. I told the kids that I could not treat them to lunch this week. Lori was okay with that, but Josh managed to talk someone into fronting him for lunch with the guarantee that he would pay them back. I was not happy, but I guess I need to let him be responsible for himself.

As I continue to make my plans, I really need to maintain some focus. I made a list of things I need to do this week and now I must find a way to do them.

Day 2

Wow, here I am for the second day in a row! I did something yesterday that I had been needing to do for a couple of weeks. Well, I did more than that, I have made some decisions. The first decision I made was this...I know that it is doing me no good sitting here at Carol Rd. I really need to get up out of here! So, I made a call to someone who may be able to help me. I hesitate to say who it was at this time, but needless to say, this person has many connections and told me that she would look into the situation and help me to see what my options are. I then copied a not to several of my friends who have been helping me.

I also went to Friday Church! My friend, Joe was there...he is really supportive of what is going on. The service was good and I talked to Keisha. She encourged not to fear; reminding me that God is at my side, always! She said that God would not leave me with out a roof over my head, food to eat or without anything else I might need.

God has put some great people of faith in my path! More later.

Things just have to move on from here!

What happened? There was a time when I lived on my own and I got out there and did what it was I needed to do. It seems that over the last five years or so, I have become this slug. Now, I can't seem to get motivated to do anything on my own. My friends are trying to help me, but I only do things when they are available. When I am on my own, I do little more than sit around and play computer games.

It's not like I don't know what I need to do and when I am away from home, I seem to get more done. But, when I go home, I'm back to sitting in front of the computer. I know I have potential, I know that I have a lot going for me, but for the life of me I can't seem to figure out what it is that is holding me back! Am I that afraid of getting out there on my own? Is it so scary that I am frozen in my tracks? Maybe it's just laziness? Maybe, just maybe, I am just making excuses not to do what I need to do.

Well, I need to think about this some more. I'm going to stop and go do something else. What I do know just from this little bit is that something needs to change and that being able to write like this is good for me.