Any one who knows me know that I came from a big family and have always been surrounded by people. Whether it's parents and siblings, spouses and children or at this point, housemates. I have been one of group living, so to speak. That is until this past week! As of today I have been apartment/cat sitting for my friend, Megan who is out of town.
I believe that this is the longest time I have purposely been alone in my entire life. Part of me is enjoying it, but there is another part of me that is getting really bored. I don't have a lot to do and I'm even getting bored with Facebook! If you would have told me a few weeks ago that I could ever be bored with Facebook, I would have laughed quietly and let you enjoy that fantasy.
Now to say that I am alone is not completely true. I did mention a cat, didn't I? One of the big reasons I am here is to take care of her highness, Miss Gracie Lou Fluffybutt! I say that jokingly, she is spoiled, but we seem to be getting along just fine. We have our disagreements; I want to sit my things on the table next to the bed (clearly a no-no)...it blocks her path to the window, we are working on boundary issues (no you can't play with my glasses!). But she knows where the treats are kept and will come ask if she wants some, even if it is 4am!
Overall, I'm doing okay. Just having trouble getting myself motivated to make some of the phone calls or do the things I need to do. I wonder if I am going to have this much trouble doing what I need to do if I really get a place of my own?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
What a Wonderful year!
Well, it's December 23rd and almost Christmas. I'm amazed at the way this year has gone. But then I usually am. Saying what I am thankful for and counting and recounting every blessing. This time I have decided to write it down here.
The biggest thing to have happened this year is having the ability to let go. There is a song we sing at Friday Church that is called "Release and Let Go". I took that as my mantra for the summer. There were a lot of things I just needed to let go of. Some things that made me angry, some things that broke mt heart, but I had to leard to "let it all go" as the song says.
The next big thing for me was I changed from singing tenor to alto in choir. Now some might think that isn't a big deal. But it has caused me to face a few things. One, I don't care for sitting with the women. I keep thinking that this is going to make me identified with these women. Sounds stupid, I know but that is how I felt when I first changed parts. Two, I have to learn all new parts. I have been skating along, all these years, in the tenor section, especially during the holidays, because we sing a lot of the same music from year to year and so I only had a limited amount of music I had to actually learn. Number three, I no longer stand out. When I sang tenor, I was an anomaly. I liked that, I stood out! Which leads to some the other things that have happened this year.
My friend, Megan said that she finally had to realize that she was not going to be the big time, hot shot and accept what God has given her. One of her favorite sayings comes from Mother Theresa, "None of us can do anything great on our own, but we can all do a small thing with great love." Truth is, not many of us really get to be the "hot shot" we dream of, but we are all called to do the small things, with great love. That is one of the things I have learned and still learning from Megan. She is one of the big things that has happened to me this year.
I asked God to send me someone to help me get out of the situation I am in. I knew what I wanted and needed, but didn't have the clarity of thought to do it on my own. God sent me Megan. I have known her for a long time, but just casually. Now, I am cat-sitting for her while she is out of town. She comes to the house to pick me up. She helps me run errands that otherwise don't get done or they are done at Jim's convenience (and with a lot of heavy sighing or complaining). Over all she is helping me to get up and live the life I should be living.
Something else happened this year. There are several people in my family who have passed away. I mentioned most of them in a previous post. One I didn't mention was my stepsister Anita. This is really strange because I can't for the life of me remember her last name. It's in my head somewhere, but it isn't coming to where I can access it.
Another thing, related to the music is that I gained enough confidence to be able to go on a choir tour with members of our Sanctuary Choir and 12 African Students, studying in Morocco. Voices United! I now have a whole new world of friends from that experience. That was one of the most wonderful and exhausting experiences of my life.
I also went of vacation, alone this year! Something I had never done!
And look at me, writing all this stuff about me!
The biggest thing to have happened this year is having the ability to let go. There is a song we sing at Friday Church that is called "Release and Let Go". I took that as my mantra for the summer. There were a lot of things I just needed to let go of. Some things that made me angry, some things that broke mt heart, but I had to leard to "let it all go" as the song says.
The next big thing for me was I changed from singing tenor to alto in choir. Now some might think that isn't a big deal. But it has caused me to face a few things. One, I don't care for sitting with the women. I keep thinking that this is going to make me identified with these women. Sounds stupid, I know but that is how I felt when I first changed parts. Two, I have to learn all new parts. I have been skating along, all these years, in the tenor section, especially during the holidays, because we sing a lot of the same music from year to year and so I only had a limited amount of music I had to actually learn. Number three, I no longer stand out. When I sang tenor, I was an anomaly. I liked that, I stood out! Which leads to some the other things that have happened this year.
My friend, Megan said that she finally had to realize that she was not going to be the big time, hot shot and accept what God has given her. One of her favorite sayings comes from Mother Theresa, "None of us can do anything great on our own, but we can all do a small thing with great love." Truth is, not many of us really get to be the "hot shot" we dream of, but we are all called to do the small things, with great love. That is one of the things I have learned and still learning from Megan. She is one of the big things that has happened to me this year.
I asked God to send me someone to help me get out of the situation I am in. I knew what I wanted and needed, but didn't have the clarity of thought to do it on my own. God sent me Megan. I have known her for a long time, but just casually. Now, I am cat-sitting for her while she is out of town. She comes to the house to pick me up. She helps me run errands that otherwise don't get done or they are done at Jim's convenience (and with a lot of heavy sighing or complaining). Over all she is helping me to get up and live the life I should be living.
Something else happened this year. There are several people in my family who have passed away. I mentioned most of them in a previous post. One I didn't mention was my stepsister Anita. This is really strange because I can't for the life of me remember her last name. It's in my head somewhere, but it isn't coming to where I can access it.
Another thing, related to the music is that I gained enough confidence to be able to go on a choir tour with members of our Sanctuary Choir and 12 African Students, studying in Morocco. Voices United! I now have a whole new world of friends from that experience. That was one of the most wonderful and exhausting experiences of my life.
I also went of vacation, alone this year! Something I had never done!
And look at me, writing all this stuff about me!
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